One of the most common complaints I hear from women is that men don’t listen. Be it at work where their good ideas are ignored or at home when their spouse totally forgets what she told him.  Why can’t men listen? They can, if you follow these five steps.

So the next time you want to talk to your male boss, be heard in a meeting, discuss an issue with your spouse, or connect with your teenage son, remember Renee’s Rules…    Read the full article →

You graduated at the top of your class; you write amazing copy; you have more patents than anyone else in your department; you can navigate spreadsheets faster than aCPA. So why should you care about your appearance? You are better than that, right? Wrong.

Appearance matters. It is a fact of life. Even after decades of women’s liberation, we are still judged initially on how we look and the professional image we present. (And it is women who do this to each other much more than men. It’s not fair, but it is fact.) Your professional image will affect you in business, in relationships, and in your ultimate success.

This is NOT about being beautiful (in fact, too much beauty can be distracting). It is about looking the part.  Read the full article →

I recently heard about an individual applying for a job who was asked by the hiring manager to bring up his Facebook page. The individual was shocked, but did so because he wasn’t sure how to refuse.

What would you do if this happened to you? Does an employer even have the right to ask this, especially when Facebook is supposed to be something you only allow your “friends,” or people you have approved, to see? Perhaps not. But if you say no, are you improving or hurting your chances for getting the job?  Read the full article →

Starting a new career is exciting and challenging. If only there was some set of rules to follow or some magic formula that could help you as you start on your journey. Don’t you wish someone could just go “Poof,” and you’d have the benefit of what others have already learned?

Then again, maybe there is a set of magic words or at least some important principles I can share from my forty years in industry and education. Not exactly poof but PPFF… These letters stand for my secrets to success, namely:
• Performance
• Persistence
• Flexibility
• Fun

Let’s take each one in turn. Read the full article →

You’ve got a terrific resume. You’ve crafted the perfect cover letter. Now, you’ve been called in for that all important interview. You know that over 50 people applied for this one position, and they will be interviewing qualified candidates for several days. What can you do to distinguish yourself from the competition?

There are many articles about interviewing skills, questions interviewers might ask, and mistakes to avoid when you interview. While those are helpful, when the competition is as stiff as you are experiencing today, you need to stand out. Here are some tips to help you do just that. Read the full article →

After my last article on What to Do When Your Boss Is Wrong appeared on WomenCo., I received a number of notes from friends and coworkers. Most found the advice helpful. One went so far as to say “I’m sure I’ll be able to put this to use every day!” and informed me he was looking to change jobs (no surprise there).

But several asked me to take this a step further. What do you do when you CAN’T follow the boss’s advice because you absolutely, positively know it is wrong? It could have severe consequences for you, for your company, for your customers, or for someone else if you allow something wrong to take place.  Read the full article →

We’ve all been there. You’ve been handling a client, solving a problem, preparing a major presentation, planning a critical marketing meeting, and your boss or supervisor disagrees with your approach. The boss tells you how to do it, and you are convinced that it won’t work.

What do you do? Do you cave in and do it his or her way knowing it is going to fail? Do you plunge ahead with your approach, knowing he or she won’t like it?  Read the full article →

Is there a new job you want to apply for but you don’t think you are qualified? Do you want to start your own business but you’re afraid you don’t know enough to make a go of it? Do you want to meet more people but you are shy and don’t function well in large groups? Do you want to be promoted but think you haven’t proven yourself yet? Do you want to reenter the workplace but are afraid you have been out too long?

Why is it that some people can face obstacles and seemingly impossible challenges while others stay on the sidelines? What do they know that you don’t? Actually, not much more. And that is the crux of the problem!

When you want something, you can approach it with two attitudes:

1. I can do it. I just have to figure out how!

OR

2. I’ll never do that. I don’t have enough experience (or skill or talent or whatever flaw you imagine yourself to have).

The reality is, you can do it if you learn to believe in yourself. But for many people, especially women, we let our fears stop us. We think we have to be perfect or that if we fail we are not good enough. So we don’t try. If you can’t summon the courage to take that first step, here are three pieces of advice that have worked for me.

1. You can figure it out while you’re doing it

When you entered kindergarten, you couldn’t read, but you learned. When you started to drive a car, you didn’t know how to steer very well, but you mastered it. When you cooked your first meal, you had no idea how to get everything ready at the same time and now you can do it without thinking. When you had your first child, you were afraid of the first breast feeding, the first bath, the first diaper change, but you became a pro.

My point is, you will learn as you go. No one expects you to know everything the first day on the job.

In a recent university study, women and men were asked to review a list of skills required for several job openings. There were 10 skills required for each position, and the students were asked to identify which skills they had. When they were done, they were then asked whether they would apply for the job. Most of the male participants said they would apply if they met at least 4 of the 10 required skills. The female participants wouldn’t apply unless they had 8 out of the 10 skills, and even then were worried about the 2 they didn’t have!

The only way you can have 100% of the skills required is to do the job, and frankly, if it is that easy, it will quickly become boring. Stop waiting to know it all, and learn as you go. Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Whenever you are asked if you can do the job, tell ‘em, Certainly, I can. Then get busy and find out how to do it.” Instead of being afraid, say “Yes I can” and then figure out how.

Not yet convinced? Read on.

2. Failing can be good. Really.

When you do something wrong, you may learn more than when you do it right. There is an old saying that good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment. Mickey Mantle has the record for the most strikeouts, and NYC Mayor and financier Michael Bloomberg was fired from his first job in the financial industry.

Most new things will have some rocky steps. Your new boss may not like how you completed your first task; you might be passed over for promotion this year. Perhaps your performance review isn’t where you wanted it, or you didn’t get chosen for a special project. Maybe you sent out 30 resumes and didn’t get called for an interview. Instead of berating yourself, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this, and how can I prevent it from happening again?”

Seek help — it’s out there! — from friends and family to career mentors, from resume writing services to self help books, from that comforting ear to talk to specialized websites like WomenCo.. Instead of being afraid to fail, consider it another learning step in getting where you want to go.

Not quite convinced? Then it’s time to share some advice from my greatest mentor, my mom. Whenever I would hesitate, she’d ask me…..

3. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

This is a particularly helpful process because BEFORE you take the step, you can compare and prepare. If I wanted to enter a contest or take a particularly hard course or run for a class office or try a sport I had never played before, I would worry I couldn’t measure up. So Mom would ask, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” I’d imagine scenarios and she’d ask me, “What would I do if the worst thing happened?”

By asking me what I would do if the worst thing did happen, I realized that I could handle it. She’d keep repeating the question until I figured out some ways to reduce the pitfalls. But most of the time, she’d make me realize that the result of not trying was exactly the same as the result if I tried and didn’t succeed, so what did I really have to lose? I remind myself of this often whenever I encounter a new challenge and use it frequently in mentoring sessions.

Anything worth having is worth working for. Remember the people who overcome those seemingly impossible obstacles are just like you but they have learned to say, “Yes I can!” and figure out how as they go along.